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    ratchedTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:44pm

    We have a tailless raccoon that we've been feeding for years. (For some reason, the fur on his tail was degloved a couple of years ago and it finally rotted off.)

    I just might club him over the head today.

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      LadyKitchenlessratched
      10/24/13 3:39pm

      There's a tail-less squirrel in our neighbourhood...for the longest time, I couldn't figure out whether he was a rabbit with really short ears or a squirrel that lost its tail, until I got a close look at him one day. My across-the-street neighbour calls him Stumpy. LOL

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      PCratched
      10/24/13 3:46pm

      I was in tears over this story and your comment made me smile. Thanks for that.

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    Sean BrodyTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:18pm

    "Strange and amazing"

    And dead.

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      KarenDelaneyWalkerSean Brody
      10/24/13 1:28pm

      They have the same expression.

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsSean Brody
      10/24/13 1:41pm

      I was going to post this picture as well. My caption was going to read "Need I say more?"

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    MisterHippityTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:15pm

    "I’m very thankful for the chance to see and harvest such a strange and amazing animal in the wild.”

    He was just "harvesting." It is the harvest season, after all.

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      MagisterMisterHippity
      10/24/13 1:53pm

      I don't hunt, but "harvest" is the word the government uses to describe the activity.

      I don't know if it's rooted in Congress or the bureaucracy, but the Fish & Wildlife Service — the agency which regulates hunting and manages animal populations — leans heavily on the word.

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      MisterHippityMagister
      10/24/13 2:34pm

      Yeah, but the government uses the term to describe the general process of controlling animal populations by culling or "harvesting" via controlled hunting seasons. They don't use it as a euphemism for killing an individual animal.

      And certainly not as a term for killing white raccoons, which have a population of ... hardly any. You don't "harvest" a rare animal, even in government-speak.

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    HellephantTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:17pm

    Greetings, earth human. Do not be alarmed. I have journeyed across oceans of time and space to bring your people an amazing and wonderful message. I have taken the form of this adorable, marvelous creature to show we mean no harm. Now listen closely, the secret of the universe is . . . [thwack]

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      MrWriteNowHellephant
      10/24/13 4:02pm

      Lol I was thinking the same thing. It reminded me a lot of The scene with the forest god in Princess Mononoke. I know we have explored/encroached on virtually every piece of land left and science has demystified most every creature out there but we are so self -absorbed that WERE an alien/mystical creature/rare beast show up with a message on the meaning of life, or gift for all mankind it would likely be killed and mounted for some hunter's collection. tl;dr humans are selfish pricks, we're fucked

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    secretagentmanTom Scocca
    10/24/13 2:11pm

    Oh America, you continue to be scary as fuck.

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      octopusmasksecretagentman
      10/24/13 2:30pm

      Oh so I suppose in your country you just carry a crossbow for show. Sissy.

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      secretagentmanoctopusmask
      10/24/13 2:39pm

      It's an 'accessory', duh.

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    TheInfantTyroneTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:25pm

    That's not a raccoon, it's his wife.

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      ratchedTheInfantTyrone
      10/24/13 1:32pm

      I bet he makes it into a hairpiece.

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      A_countratched
      10/24/13 3:24pm

      He'll be capped off and ready to roll.

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    MisterHippityTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:12pm

    This is what will probably happen if somebody ever really discovers Santa Claus.

    If that happens, at least some taxidermist will be able to preserve him and put him on display for the kids every December.

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      Freddie DeBoerMisterHippity
      10/24/13 1:15pm

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      Missy PantsFreddie DeBoer
      10/24/13 2:29pm

      I LOVE THAT MOVIE SO MUCH!

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    DolemiteTom Scocca
    10/24/13 1:10pm

    Today in the news, a hunter discovered a male and female pair of long thought to be extinct pair of Tasmanian Tigers, in the process of copulating. He plans to mount the male's head above his mantle, and the female's in the downstair's bathroom as a toilet paper dispenser.

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      Brock SamsaTom Scocca
      10/24/13 1:14pm

      Private Joker approves of this approach to encountering something beautiful.

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        DL ThurstonTom Scocca
        10/24/13 1:24pm

        This, more than anything else, is why I'm certain there's no such thing as Bigfoot. Because, by now, some yahoo would have shot one and strung up the carcass.

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