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tschreckHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:35pm
i sometimes ask my more intellectual friends the hypothetical question:

if you could go back in time and eliminate one person, who would it be?

the standard despots are usually brought up, and my choice would have been Emperor Constantine, but adding Dick to the conversation does bring up some interesting notions...

too bad the damage has already been done.
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  narcissustschreck
  10/17/13 12:49pm
  How about preventing the elimination of one person? Czar Alexander II, assassinated two days before he was to call for an elected parliament; replaced by a staunch monarchist who viciously suppressed reformers. There would have been no Bolshevik Revolution. Huge ramifications on the outcome of World War I, and possibly no World War II — no Hitler, no Stalin, no Cold War. Maybe no Marxism at all — no Chinese Revolution, no Chairman Mao, no Great Leap, no North Korea.
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  Perry Downingnarcissus
  10/17/13 1:31pm
  That's an excellent choice! Though, sadly, I suspect Europe was going to blow up over something eventually. They were like a bunch of brothers who needed to get it out of their systems before they could learn to get along like grown-ups.
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Over-the-RiverHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:29pm
What If Dick Cheney's First Heart Attack Had Killed Him?

Stop teasing us like that.
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  cheerful_exgirlfriendOver-the-River
  10/17/13 12:32pm
  All I can think of is there aren't enough happy dancing .gifs to convey my joy at the thought.
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  Búho se Pierdecheerful_exgirlfriend
  10/17/13 12:36pm
  Seriously. Perchance to dream.
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HellephantHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:33pm
I hope this is only the first in a series of books about Dick Cheney's organs. A must read!
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  Búho se PierdeHellephant
  10/17/13 12:35pm
  And then maybe one about his ghost.
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  HellephantBúho se Pierde
  10/17/13 12:42pm
  Horny Ghost of Osama bin Laden II: A Forbidden Love
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Yukon KizmiazHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:28pm
It's too bad the VietCong didn't get a crack at his 5 deferment ass first.
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  Bill S. Preston Esq.Yukon Kizmiaz
  10/17/13 12:35pm
  Yeah, the lengths he went to avoid going to a war he supported is insane and worth a read if someone doesn't know the story.
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  Yukon KizmiazBill S. Preston Esq.
  10/17/13 12:42pm
  He's the ultimate chickenhawk. Well him and Ted Nugent. And Rush. And Gingrich. And Hannity. And on, and on, and on...
  
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Steve_Buscemi's_OrthodontistHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:33pm
It's hard to imagine Bush being elected without Cheney.

One is a mentally-challenged alcoholic from a political dynasty.
The other was the inspiration for Supernatural's demon king of hell, Crowley.

I'd argue that No Cheney = No Bush presidency as the power brokers that ushered in that duo certainly wouldn't have saddles themselves with HeHaw Made Flesh if it wasn't for Dr. Doom being on the ticket.
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  UnoriginalNightSteve_Buscemi's_Orthodontist
  10/17/13 12:44pm
  Hey! Don't drag Crowley into this mess.
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  Steve_Buscemi's_OrthodontistUnoriginalNight
  10/17/13 12:48pm
  I would have used Faust but that would have required him to be a time-travelling immorta - oh, fuck. I should have used Faust.
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ElCubanoHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:31pm
What if you had died 10 years ago? Then you wouldn't have written an article underhandedly hoping that someone had died.
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  medsy2ElCubano
  10/17/13 12:43pm
  To be fair, the author didn't kill and displace millions of people throughout his lifetime.....and show no remorse.
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  xmnrmedsy2
  10/17/13 12:53pm
  Not only "show no remorse", but he's adamantly proud of it. He goes to interviews hoping they ask him about his achievements so he can crow about how many people he is responsible for killing or torturing.
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jasoneliasHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 1:09pm
If Dick Cheney had died in 1978? The years 2000-2013 would have been better, I think most can agree.

What I also find interesting is the fact that Dick Cheney (while never a bastion of love and goodwill) seemed to get unnecessarily evil in the past two decades. He did seem to be somewhat responsible during the Operation Desert Storm days. But make no mistake, he was never an angel, never really likeable—but he didn't seem to be the monster he's become and seems to enjoy.

I wonder if his health problems contributed to this and should have someone with these kind of health concerns, continued to serve the public (he had a mild heart attack in November 2000.) Of course if he died in 1978, I wouldn't even be thinking about this.
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  twinsmommyjasonelias
  10/17/13 2:18pm
  Becoming more evil over time is just what happens when more and more of your body is replaced with robotics.
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Collapsed ConversationHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 1:17pm
A question for medical professionals, a take on the moral dilemma/Hitler murder paradox here:

If you happened upon a time machine that transported you back in time to witness any of Cheney's heart attack episodes, would you render medical assistance to him, or try to figure out a way to refrain from action? While laypeople are not legally required to render medical assistance to another, I imagine the Hippocratic Oath might compel a medical professional to try to help a person in such a situation.
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  GLJeremyCollapsed Conversation
  10/17/13 1:51pm
  
  McCoy had to be restrained to let Edith die. Temporal Prime Directive more important than Hippocratic Oath. Though many a Federation Doctor has been tempted and been unable to refrain from offering help. Unless you were preordained to go back and save the person you cannot help, and even then you better have compelling evidence of this to show Federation Temporal Investigators.
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  MikeTheRipper12Collapsed Conversation
  10/17/13 5:57pm
  This also falls into the "the devil you know" argument. In that we know the events that are already established, but without literally trying to take into account every single possible event that could ever arise from say...let's go with killing Hitler, that's the 'ol stand by. In fact I'll use the game series Red Alert as an example. When Einstein went back in time in Red Alert to kill Hitler in his youth he never imagined that without Hitler being there intially and later on to become the causation that led to the Soviet/British/American alliance and Germany staying a relative crippled country that Stalin (who's timeline was completely unaffected by Hitler's death in his student years) came to power in the same established way, but had to "leash" to control his expansionist policies he simply unleashed a soviet "blitzkrieg" much later on. This is certainly applicable to other people/events, but the known "what ifs" and the possible unknowns are so great that...yes it would be an amazing thing to prevent that loss of life, but might not the 'now in motion' set of events because the changed timeline be possibly worse then the events we originally set out to change?
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Tyrant BigglesHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 1:05pm
Are we certain Cheney did survive his first heart attack? How do we know what inhabits that form is not...something else?
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ManchuCandidateHamilton Nolan
10/17/13 12:32pm
Stop it. It would be like those crazy alternative history books (if the Nazees or South won their wars), but with a happier ending.
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What If Dick Cheney's First Heart Attack Had Killed Him?