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    Sparkle_MotionErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:50pm

    Oh, Michelle.

    Words have always been such a challenge for her.

    It's true: A few years ago, I was assigned by a then-up-and-coming periodical to follow Michelle around on the campaign trail for a few days. It was all pretty boring, honestly, but I'll never forget how much Michelle liked to sing. All. The. Time.

    And her favorite song back then? The Age of Aquarius. Problem was, she thought the song was about Aquariums, not Aquarius. "This is the dawning of the age of Aquariums . . . " All day long.

    And the funniest part? She said that the aquariums were about fish, which explained why "religious Christians" often put those fish stickers on their cars. Alas.

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      yvanehtniojSparkle_Motion
      10/08/13 12:52pm
      GIF
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      OldLadyRunningSparkle_Motion
      10/08/13 12:54pm

      This comment has improved my day by a factor of a 1000. Thank you.

      I'm having a truly crap day so I will take what I can.

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    NotJustAnAngryBlackGirlErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:55pm

    According to my superreligious family, it's been the end times since I was about 2.

    If you wanna blow an evangelicals mind, sweetly ask, "How do you know that Jesus hasn't already come back to collect his followers, and the world we're living in is post-Rapture?"

    I asked my Sunday School teacher that when I was 10 and she ended class.

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      beatrixkiddoNotJustAnAngryBlackGirl
      10/08/13 1:00pm

      Same here. Michelle Bachmann is like if my mom was a politician, and also a super terrible person.

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      GemmabetaNotJustAnAngryBlackGirl
      10/08/13 1:01pm

      And if you flip back the calendar, it's been the end times since 33 AD.

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    benjaminalloverErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:54pm

    Jesus H. Fuckdoodles. Our cons are corrupt bigots in Canada, but they sure as shit would be mocked for this kind of crazy. How the fuck does she get away with it? I just don't understand how a person could spout this whoopie-we're-all-gonna-die, microwaved-crayon logic, wild-eyed incoherent apocalypticism, and get elected to public office. Like, guys, how could you elect a lady who wants the world to end?

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      apogee17benjaminallover
      10/08/13 12:59pm

      Because she's part of a religious group that pretty much welcomes the Rapture. It's fucked up, too. I mean if you're saved by their standards, you're all fine and dandy and off to Heaven. If you're not, and didn't roll with their salvation plan, then it's on you and you somehow have it coming. But if you didn't even know about their brand of Christianity, you're boned anyways and will be on Earth as food gets rationed, nukes go off and angels and shit come from the sky to blanket the planet in flame or whatever.

      How "good" can that be?

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      benjaminalloverapogee17
      10/08/13 1:10pm

      But surely, not everyone who voted for her believes that BS. That's what i don't understand; do republicans hate democrats so much that they would knowingly put a woman in charge of themselves, to speak for them, who doesn't give a fuck about the future because she wants the world destroyed ASAP? It just seems like that sort of death-wish for everyone and everything would disqualify someone in the eyes of voters.

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    lmpErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:42pm

    Those are the most terrifying eyes I have ever seen... seriously.

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      artless.dodgerlmp
      10/08/13 12:45pm

      Like Linda Blair in the Exorcist...

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      JezLangleylmp
      10/08/13 12:47pm

      See it's just that with Jesus's second coming so imminent, she literally CANNOT blink for fear she'll miss it!

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    stacyinbeanErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:49pm

    This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists...

    So is this a quote from now or 1986 in the midst of Irancontra? What's that you say, it only matters when the scary brown guy is in charge of the government and not the old, white guy?

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      Good Shot Red Twostacyinbean
      10/08/13 12:57pm

      Not to mention said President was allowing the recipient of said arms to smuggle cocaine into the United States in order to fund their war for "freedom", which included putting the heads of defenseless Nicaraguan citizens on spikes...

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      OMG!PONIES!stacyinbean
      10/08/13 1:33pm

      Oh come on. What did Iran ever do to us?! Other than taking our people hostage and attacking our soldiers?

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    ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:43pm

    She's made of pure hatred for humanity that has been subjected to unfathomable amounts Minnesota Nice pressure for decades, resulting in a glittering, multifaceted diamond of oh gee gosh golly lunacy that just sparkles with crackling repression and ignorance. She's perfect.

    Plus Marcus is really into pretty sparkly things.

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      lollipopKABOOMʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
      10/08/13 1:01pm

      So much so that he watches Dancing With The Stars strictly for the outfits.

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      steven_wiserʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
      10/08/13 1:15pm

      One of my sisters had never seen a picture of Marcus before so I swiftly jumped on my phone and after the third one she was like, "Uh what does he do again." LOL!

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    PaintedTrollopErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:56pm

    "The leaf is on the fig tree." This sounds like code for some sort of kinky sexual adventure.

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      Straight out of PangaeaPaintedTrollop
      10/08/13 1:09pm
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      goddessoftransitoryPaintedTrollop
      10/08/13 1:49pm

      Michelle, you better check on what Jesus did to that fig tree before you get all smug about your new green bikini.

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    MidwestMsErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:52pm

    Where the lines of politics and religious craziness meet... holy fuck. Who in their right mind supports this kind of rhetoric?! I find it endlessly amusing and ironic that she is more aligned with the religious extremists that she constantly groans about, than the people she supposedly represents in her district. As a Minnesotan, most of us think she's a kook... I SHUDDER to think what she has in store for us all next nowt hat she is giving up her congressional seat.

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      margaritajardinMidwestMs
      10/08/13 1:05pm

      I am curious though - is her district THAT conservative/fans of the rapture? I mean - they re-elected her after all the crazy talk so I'm assuming they like that they voted for?

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      MidwestMsmargaritajardin
      10/08/13 1:12pm

      I think some people are just voting on party lines, to be honest. There's a lot of concentrated wealth, as well as a lot of new-age, ultra conservative, warehouse churches. As a result, her district is one of the more religiously and politically conservative parts of the twin cities (the north west to north central suburbs). The same area has seen a huge influz of teen suicides as a result of anti-gay bigotry and bullying: (http://www.nbcnews.com/id/39593311/ns...). She is the mouth-piece for such hate speech and ideology.

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    ShutUpFlandersErin Gloria Ryan
    10/08/13 12:44pm

    What most people speaking with Ms. Bachmann end up doing:

    GIF
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      Owen GoodErin Gloria Ryan
      10/08/13 12:47pm

      As much as I'm delighted that this insane person is leaving public office, it makes me cringe to think of what she'll be like without the sense of accountability to an informed electorate acting a brake on her more impulsive thoughts.

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        Jackie_Jormp_JompOwen Good
        10/08/13 1:00pm

        What ever happened to her being under investigation for misspending her campaign funds?

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        imaginaryfriendJackie_Jormp_Jomp
        10/08/13 2:34pm

        that's still grinding forward. I think some other player in that scandal got indicted last week.

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