Discussion
  • Read More
    Sean BrodyKen Layne
    9/19/13 5:38pm

    What's the Best Way To Get a Drink At a Busy Bar?

    • Be tall
    • Smile patiently, but not condescendingly
    • Know your order and state it crisply and audibly when asked
    • Have cash
    • Tip well


    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      flyonthewallSean Brody
      9/19/13 5:39pm

      I think mothersrapehorn got it right.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Sean Brodyflyonthewall
      9/19/13 5:41pm

      What if the bartender looks like that?

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    김치전!Ken Layne
    9/19/13 5:43pm

    I don't understand — if you're drinking at a bar, instead of alone in your shitty apartment, isn't it weird when you cry and/or masturbate?

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Sean Brody김치전!
      9/19/13 5:45pm

      The trick is to drink enough that you don't care that it is weird.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      김치전!Sean Brody
      9/19/13 5:49pm

      That's the answer to a lot of problems, isn't it?

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Cletus Van DammeKen Layne
    9/19/13 6:28pm

    A dark corner and a flask.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      La.M.Cletus Van Damme
      9/19/13 7:10pm

      I came here to say "bring your own". That is the beauty of a crowded bar. No one will notice when the beer you are drinking isn't even sold there.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Cletus Van DammeLa.M.
      9/19/13 7:13pm

      My problem is that flasks just aren't big enough. I guess I could get a camelback!

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    mothersrapehornKen Layne
    9/19/13 5:32pm
    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      brick frogKen Layne
      9/19/13 5:40pm

      Bar tender here. The possibility of sloppy awkward pool table sex at 3am with the only customer sober enough to still utililize his or her genitals is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning.

      I am great at my job.

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        Sean Brodybrick frog
        9/19/13 5:44pm

        For some people, it's a true calling

        Reply
        <
      • Read More
        Tucker973brick frog
        9/20/13 11:00am

        Say, I've been looking for a new bar....

        Reply
        <
    • Read More
      MadPiglet loves West HamKen Layne
      9/19/13 5:39pm

      A push-up bra and a deep-V top. Duh. Helps if you're a woman, though. That doesn't tend to be a good look for most dudes.

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        SuffersfoolsgladlyKen Layne
        9/19/13 10:02pm

        These are the kinds of questions posited by non-alcoholic people. We professionals would be sure to sneak in some of our own, so as not to have to wait, and to save money. Better still..get trashed at home, BEFORE going top the bar..no alcoholic wants to spend huge amounts of cash, just for the privilege of drinking in public.

        That said, I am eight years sober and am so glad I don't have to consider these matters any longer.

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          ninjaginKen Layne
          9/19/13 5:48pm

          Heck, forget the bar, I want a robot bartender at home.

          Reply
          <
          • Read More
            Gavin S.Ken Layne
            9/19/13 5:59pm

            I can tell you the best way to not get a beer at a busy bar. I was at Tipitina's years ago during Mardi Gras and the Neville Bros were playing. It was jammed. I stood at that bar for like 20 minutes being ignored by the barkeeps. Finally, I literally reached over and grabbed one of the guys and said, gimme a goddamned Budweiser if you'd be so kind. He did so, grudgingly, and took the time after to tell me I might have better luck in getting service if I weren't waving around $2, which happened to be exact change for said Budweiser. I said thanks and sorry. I was so broke on that trip.

            Reply
            <
            • Read More
              TchoupawhatGavin S.
              9/19/13 6:10pm

              I always appreciate a Tiptina's story.

              Reply
              <
            • Read More
              Gavin S.Tchoupawhat
              9/19/13 6:19pm

              And Stevie Ray Vaughan walked on and jammed with them for a few songs. That was awesome. This was 87 or 88, so he wasn't long for the world. RIP Stevie Ray.

              Reply
              <
          • Read More
            FlortmaKen Layne
            9/19/13 5:49pm

            I always tip really big for the first drink. After that, no waiting in line for the rest of the night.

            Reply
            <