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    EasttoMidwestHamilton Nolan
    8/19/13 4:40pm

    Most of these soldiers have devoted partners. It's scary to imagine how much worse it is for people who don't have that kind of support system.

    It also seems like experiences with the VA are insanely varied.

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      teammemberEasttoMidwest
      8/19/13 5:01pm

      I was thinking the same thing when reading the story from the wife of the Afghanistan vet. What in the hell would someone who didn't have an advocate do in this situation? Just dealing with regular medical bills as a lay person is hard enough, but having to fight for the correct treatment, deal with bills, go so far from home for treatment, and everything else...how dare we as a country stand for treating those who have served this way.

      Now I'm going to look into organizations that advocate for vets in the VA system and volunteer.

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      Ginmar RienneEasttoMidwest
      8/19/13 5:05pm

      My conservative family called me a traitor when I told them there were no WMDs and torture was appalling. Oh, and some wonderful social justice people made quite a big thing out of mocking my meltdown when I found out a friend had been mocking my disintegration to her conservative war-loving friends. Insurgents have more scruples. At least they kill you eventually.

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    LibbyBellsHamilton Nolan
    8/19/13 4:01pm

    Jesus.

    It's like having insight into my dad's head. Finally.

    He suffered from PTSD from Vietnam. The army denied his very existence for 20 years after he came home. He fought and fought, though, and finally won, after literal decades of fighting with the military.

    All of that and to the day he died, he ducked every time he heard a helicopter.

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      stellalukinLibbyBells
      8/19/13 4:19pm

      Whoa. You too? My dad didn't get help for PTSD from Vietnam for 30 years. Finally he did and mercifully, most of the TV sets disappeared from my parents' house. Helicopters still a problem though.

      My dad asked me to skip "The Butler" because... Jane Fonda. He never asks stuff like that, ever.

      I hope your dad had some semblance of peace in his life before he passed. :(

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      cityzunLibbyBells
      8/19/13 5:18pm

      Right there with you buddy. Growing up and not understanding what was going on with a parent dealing with PTSD is something you can't ever possibly describe to someone. Currently my dad's dealing with the VA over aftereffects of Agent Orange, which, god bless him, he's dealing with in a far more patient manner than I am. It took him years before he could celebrate July 4th too, because of the fireworks. That was always kind of ironic to me, that an American soldier couldn't leave his house on Independence day.

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    logicisnicesometimestooHamilton Nolan
    8/20/13 2:51am

    My friend did 4 tours in Iraq, witnessing shit that I wouldn't even repeat on here because it depresses me to even think about it. He got out of the military 4 years ago. When he got back he couldn't adjust, used to go for cover sometimes when he heard loud noises, would break down crying almost every time we got drunk, it just tore him apart. He went to the VA numerous times and was told there was a massive backlog for counseling, but was prescribed heavy amounts of sedatives to try and help him cope. I remember him saying around this time "I haven't slept in 4 days and I haven't even drank a cup of coffee, I just wanna sleep." He got addicted to these sedatives while waiting for the counseling, then opiates when those wouldn't calm him anymore, got a girl pregnant, married her and she left him when she couldn't take his anger issues and the fact he woke up screaming quite often, or would stay up for days at a time, basically on guard duty in his own fucking living room. He has done two stints in jail for assault since then, wasn't allowed to see his kid for a long time, basically stopped talking to everyone. Eventually, and thank god for this, he got into a twelve step program for the drugs, which led him to open up and by then he could get the counseling he needed, as he had also been in VA mental hospitals numerous times by now. I saw him a few months ago at a wedding. He looks like he is doing better, but he is still kinda quiet. I know he made some bad choices in all of this, but I often wonder if he was just changed by those horrible experiences or if things could've been radically different if he got the help that he needed when he needed it.

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      Rod Strickland PropaneHamilton Nolan
      8/19/13 4:29pm

      I think the VA is getting a bad rap. Yes, they can be more efficient but everything considered (funding, all the red tape, etc) I think they're doing the best they can.

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        ARP2Rod Strickland Propane
        8/19/13 4:49pm

        They're underfunded, have a broad mandate, but often have little flexibility or power to implement that mandate. Then they are criticized and some groups are proposing to privatize portions of the VA. Does that MO sound familiar?

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        Rod Strickland PropaneARP2
        8/19/13 4:53pm

        sadly it sounds too familiar.

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      MadSchnauzerHamilton Nolan
      8/19/13 5:28pm

      Gawker- You had the "Unemployment Stories" series and it was wonderful. Please make this a series as well!

      *Disclaimer: I didn't serve but I respect those who did*

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        ooholycowHamilton Nolan
        8/19/13 6:28pm

        I would love to someone how contact these vets because I also have PTSD. But I'm not a vet I'm a former foster child. And most cases foster children have a high rate of getting PTSD as a war veteran. And if only there was a way for both veterans and former and current foster youth to participate in discussions of there feelings maybe we can prevent PTSD from becoming so erratic. I'm saddened by this really.

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          Seneca the Younger(er)ooholycow
          8/19/13 9:01pm

          You can talk to me, if you think it would help. I qualify for the disabled vet with PTSD label, I just don't invoke it in public much. But here, hell, I'm semi-unrecognizable.

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          ooholycowSeneca the Younger(er)
          8/20/13 1:00am

          Thanks man I appreciate it, because most foster youths have those symptoms. Repressed memories and emotions and like most with PTSD they feel rely on dangerous alternatives like alcohol and drugs or sex. My girlfriend was one of those poor victims who felt that if she felt loved it makes the pain easier and she ended up pregnant. What I want to do is find a way to make PTSD asier to discuss with, we all triggers for me is having people argue and my adrenaline rushes and I freak out, I'm afraid to have emotions because I'm afraid if losing control and what I want to do is find ways for both youth and veterana find venues to express those thing without having to feel like they can't control it.

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        KalynHamilton Nolan
        8/22/13 4:35pm

        As I read these stories I see men that wanted help and that tried to treat people with some decency. Unfortunately, my step-father (he raised me since I was 10) is not one of them. He had 2 tours in Vietnam as a Marine. He was able to keep his (then undiagnosed) PTST under control until about 5 years ago when he started taking pain pills and was downing a bunch of those a day pretty much slept for 2 years and had the most amazing mood swings I've ever seen. Then one day.....he lost it. Decided my mom is evil and she is responsible for everything. He packed a bag and left, just like that he was gone. Went to live with a close relative until they had had enough. Then another and 6 months later is on his 3rd relative. He stopped giving any monetarily support to my mom and younger sister and tells people how he's going to make my mom pay for 35 years of "hell".
        He says he is going to the VA once a week for counseling but I don't believe it. I once called the VA in that town because he had been missing for 2 weeks, and asked them to see if my dad was there. They looked and said he had never been to that hospital or facilities.
        In the meantime, we are trying to keep things afloat. We have tried to talk to him and make deals, begged him to come back etc etc. We also found out he took quite a bit of money from their account, leaving my mother with almost nothing. If she divorces him she will lose her benefits because he retired 4 years after they married. She is 70, she needs them.
        He gets money; social security and a good pension but refused to help with my mom and his daughter's school. He's become mean, sneaky, did I say mean?
        We have looked at all possible choices and we are out of options. We have to sell the house (which is ok) but he told me he wants the house to go into foreclosure. God knows why. The only thing left to us is legal proceedings. We know he is sick but I also know other men with PTSD and they do not do all this. They don't try to actively destroy their family. He did apply for his second (combat pension) but its been back and forth for 2 years with them. On the phone he can be really nice and logical one minute and then he calls you back and its a different person, an angry, verbally abusive, scary man.
        I feel my mom should get PTSD benefits too for what he's put her trough. She sank into depression, and cries. Can't sleep, stares into space sometimes and jumps at every loud noise. She is convinced he's coming to kill her and he does have guns with him so her fear in not unfounded.
        I called the VA to see if there is any support for families of PTSD veterans. Any therapist or groups or anything. I can't tell you the hummm and haaaaa and not sure we've gotten.

        We lost him and to tell you the truth I sometimes wish he was dead. I think it would hurt less and he would be free of this.
        My father is gone.

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          ohnoshebettadontHamilton Nolan
          8/19/13 4:04pm

          And god forbid any of these guys who have been to war and suffer severe psychological trauma as a result be allowed to smoke a bowl and momentarily relax.

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            cressidalainohnoshebettadont
            8/19/13 4:13pm

            <3 you for this comment.

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            ThisIsTheCityLifeohnoshebettadont
            8/19/13 4:46pm

            I got TBI as a result of my deployment and I smoked a lot when I got out and went back to school. Now I have a Federal job and I don't want to risk it. I was a lot more happy and productive when I smoked (and could sleep).

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          AffectionatelyYoursHamilton Nolan
          8/19/13 6:23pm

          I had a severe case of PTSD which was confirmed by a SPECT via the Amen Clinic. So, I'm speaking from experience here. I am 99% back to normal. What worked? Three things your average therapist won't even tell you about: 1. Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT). PTSD does microscopic damage to the brain. HBOT fixes it. 2. EMDR therapy. EMDR breaks up the memories so they aren't front and center, like a filter you see everything through. The memories are moved to long-term memory, so you can access them if and when you want them. 3. Address excitoxicity. Increase the amount of nutrients that certain parts of the brain needs in order to quench excitotoxicity (GABA, Magnesium, etc.) and stop consuming things that increase it (NutraSweet/asparatame).

          I spoke with two military therapist, neither of whom were aware that there were treatments besides talk therapy. I am living proof that the methods above work. If you are truly, truly at the end of your rope, and you will do anything - ANYTHING - to feel better, please check out HBOT, EMDR, and address excitoxicity. Research, talk to practitioners, find a way to pay for treatment. You can get your life back.

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            kisara AffectionatelyYours
            8/19/13 6:33pm

            i'm gonna send this information to a friend of mine. Thanks. : )

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            AffectionatelyYourskisara
            8/19/13 6:50pm

            If this info helps even one person, I'll be happy. It's a tragedy of epic proportions that the military doesn't make HBOT available to every soldier who suffers from TBI and/or PTSD. No one should be left to suffer when there is a treatment that works. HBOT costs the government less than paying for years of disability, and recovered soldiers can earn way more in a post-military career than they would get from disability. It's a win-win.

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          ThatGuyKeevinHamilton Nolan
          8/19/13 4:51pm

          As a disabled Veteran who suffers from PTSD and many other debilitating things that the Military finally agreed to pay for after 3 years of fighting , Injured in 2009 yes this may not seem like a long time to most but it felt like an eternity for me. I spent 3 months in a wheelchair and over a year having to walk with a aid of a cane. when I was injured the people in charge at the time didn't want to have it on there track record because it was around the time for Chief selections, so they did everything in there power to have me convicted for willfully injuring myself I had to be trialed while in a wheel chair in my uniform "DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING DEGRADING THAT IS"; none the less I was cleared of all charges. The VA was helpful to an extent because not everyone that works for the VA really cares some are just working for a check. I did a lot of research and read every piece of paper that was put in front of me. so when ever something was brought up I had enough knowledge to know how to respond and act accordingly basically all I am saying is put forth the extra effort let nothing get by and fight for what you think is right as far as your ratings go. Be safe my fellow warriors fight the good fight what may not be appreciated today or tomorrow will be appreciated someday soon let no one stand in your way let no weight hold you back.

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